Do You Think You’re Sexy?

I have observed people promoting themselves in ways that suggest they did not care about romancing their audience. For example, in your Facebook and Instagram you have at least one Photo Whore. This is the person who documents every moment of her life on her phone. It is not enough that she is posting her photos on her own social media. She takes it one step further and posts every new photo of herself on your wall and on the walls of all her friends. She is like an old dog peeing the entire perimeter of your front yard just to stake her turf.  Rule: Don’t post photos or images on your friends’ walls unless you know for sure they want them there. 

I know of a naturopath who has been doing a video and email campaign is sending emails that have headers in all CAPS saying: Do you have FLATULENCE?  Do you have BODY ODOR?  Do your FEET SWEAT? She is assuming that the size of her words in all CAPITAL LETTERS is going to generate impact instead of the words she has chosen to convey her message.  If people know her, the suggestion that they have flatulence is not a great way to start a “conversation.”  People who do not know her will assume she is a spammer and hit delete. Rule: Do not use all CAPITAL LETTERS in your emails and especially not in the email subject line or header. 

When you are intent on romancing your audience, don’t be a failed Comic.  The person who is not a comedian and has no comedic talent whatsoever and thinks he’s being funny when he‘s not is just a dork.  I saw an accountant who always poses in photos with a large green parrot on his shoulder.  I also saw a nutritionist posing with an apple on the top of her head. It just seems goofy. Rule: Don’t try to be funny unless you really are funny.

 If you are going to do things for shock value to get attention, then my advice is to be bad, but sexy like Kim Kardashian.  You will also need to have a great ass.

Remember Rod Stewart and his song Do you think I’m sexy? He wore a gold jumpsuit opened in a V-shape to his navel, sporting gold chains and shaggy bleached blonde hair.  He received a lot of criticism for that song. Some accused him of betraying his roots in rock and crossing over to become a Pop Disco King.

That song was released as a single in late 1978 and spent one week at the top of the British charts, four weeks at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, topped the charts in Australia, and to date, his video on YouTube has had over 7 million views. Rule: Come hither is better than I will give you everything I’ve got even if you don’t want it.   

Do you think I’m sexy? Rod Stewart posed his sexiness as a question, as an opening for a conversation and a romantic interlude. He didn’t say I’m sexy and I know it.  He sang: If you want my body and you think I’m sexy… just reach out and touch me.  He was a tease. 

Another example of sexy, but bad is Lady Gaga.  She assumes many personalities, roles, costumes, and she can be shocking, but she never gives you full disclosure of who she is, which is intriguing. There is a sense that even her greatest moments of excess are still restrained, and you know there is more to come.  She always holds back. Rule:  Be a hussy, not a whore.

Broadway star Patti Lupone is far from classically beautiful.  But that voice! Her stage presence is greater than any other actress I have witnessed.  When I saw her in Gypsy, she stopped the show. I have seen a lot of Broadway shows, but I have never seen a bonafide showstopper.  The non-stop applause is so thunderous and the standing ovation is such a distraction to the actors that the action on stage just stops.  Patti Lupone had the audience begging. After the show was over, the applause would not stop. Just one more song, the audience clamored, but she did not come back.  Not that night. Rule: Be a showstopper! Always make them come back for more.

You don’t have to be beautiful to be sexy.  You do have to want something and, at the same time, you want to be wanted. You have to offer your audience something that they really want. On both sides, desire hangs in the balance like unspoken electricity crackling in the air.  Listen! The most seductive thing you can do is to listen to the person you are trying to seduce.  The sexiest conversationalists in the world say little and let others do the talking.  Be sexy! Be exceptional!  Flirt! Flirt shamelessly, but hold something back.  Remember coyness is a virtue. From there, that is how you will build a lasting romance with your audience.

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